018- going to die soon

Not to sound like you're going to die soon or anything, but I'm really glad I've had the chance to get to know you. And if you are going to die soon, I'm really sorry. Add to Cart

003- it bothers me

I love you and it bothers me. And the fact that it bothers me bothers me also. Add to Cart

066- burping and farting

I'm glad you feel comfortable burping and farting in my presence. (Sort of glad.) Add to Cart

024- exactly what to say

Sometimes I know exactly what to say. This is not one of those times. Add to Cart

064- pretend to appreciate

Please pretend to appreciate this card. If you opened it in front of me, I'm probably looking at you now while you're reading it, waiting for some expression of approval to register on your face. Or if I'm not there, you might need to make a similar expression next time you see me in person. In any case, please try to make that expression appear genuine and heartfelt. Add to Cart

039- something on your face

If you had something on your face, like a piece of food or a booger or something, I would tell you. Eventually. I might take a moment first to enjoy how stupid you look as you're eating or talking or whatever it is you're doing, totally oblivious to the thing on your face. But eventually, I'd tell you. Add to Cart

070- throw this away

You're probably going to throw this card away.* *or recycle it It might get put out on a shelf in your house for a while. Or it might even make it into a pile of keepsakes in some drawer or closet.But one day, when the mood is right, you'll look through that pile, think of how you felt (or didn't feel) when you first read this card and how much has changed (or hasn't changed) since then, and you'll let out a heavy sigh (or you won't sigh, or think, or anything) and you'll proceed - despite (or because of) all of this - to throw it away.* *or recycle it Add to Cart

062- want to vomit

This card was the only one among hundreds that didn't make me want to vomit. Kind of like you. Add to Cart

004- last person on Earth

If you were the last person on Earth, that would mean I'd be dead, and you'd have a stupid greeting card to remember me by. Add to Cart

020- the more I know you

I just wanted to tell you... ...that I get the feeling that if I knew you more I'd like you more I mean in general the more I knew you the more I'd like you and that's not something that happens very often I think I mean the knowing and the liking and the feeling I've got. Add to Cart

072- a big deal

I know you don't like to make a big deal out of things like this. So I just got you this card. Add to Cart

009- you’re almost ugly

You're one of those people who's only pretty because you're almost ... ...you come so close to being completely repulsive that the sense of danger in teetering on that brink gives your look an excitement that's somehow attractive, like if a butterfly had flapped its wings somewhere the moment you were born, everything might've been different enough to make manifest your face's latent hideousness. Know what I mean? Add to Cart

067- money inside

There might be money inside this card. But before you open it you're going to have to read the rest of this card and act like you care what it says, when we all know you're only thinking about how much money there might be inside. Add to Cart

036- damn you

Damn you for making me say and do so many things I would never have otherwise said or done. Like this. Add to Cart

063- that nagging sense

Do you ever get that nagging sense that we're kidding ourselves to think that we could ever make it together? Me neither. Add to Cart

065- the reflection of us

Sometimes, when we're walking down the street, I'll look at the windows of the shops as we pass just to see the reflection of us walking together. Add to Cart

069- one of a kind

You sure are one of a kind. I can't say exactly what kind, but you sure are one of it. Add to Cart

071- reasons not to

I can think of a lot of reasons not to love you. But I still do (love you). Add to Cart

043 – awful in pictures

Yours is a beauty that has to be experienced in person to be truly appreciated, a beauty that radiates in action - moving this way, or that, or just talking, laughing, breathing - a rare beauty that cannot be frozen in any one moment. I guess that's why you look so awful in pictures. Add to Cart