I thought of so many things
to do for you
that you would’ve loved.
But I didn’t want it to look
like I was trying too hard.
I’m expecting something
to go terribly wrong soon.
Because having you around
is just too perfect.
You mean so much to me…
…that I’m willing to spend
a few whole dollars
on a greeting card.
I only bought this because
you seem to appreciate
the gesture of giving
a greeting card.
And I would rather oblige
than think of something better.
If I knew exactly what to say…
…then I sure as hell
wouldn’t be giving you
a greeting card.
Just wanted to let you know
that I was thinking about you.
Well, obviously.
(You’re probably
thinking to yourself.)
…why would I send you
this card if I wasn’t
thinking about you?…
…and what a stupid thing
to say in a card…
…and even stupider
to affect stupidity,
as if that’s funny…
Well fuck you then.
It’s nearly impossible
to find a greeting card for you.
Take that as a compliment.
When I bought this card,
I was feeling good
about our relationship.
But now that you’re reading it,
things might’ve changed.
I could never imagine myself
buying cards like this.
Then a funny thing happened.
I met you.
