063- that nagging sense

Do you ever get that nagging sense that we're kidding ourselves to think that we could ever make it together? Me neither. Add to Cart

064- pretend to appreciate

Please pretend to appreciate this card. If you opened it in front of me, I'm probably looking at you now while you're reading it, waiting for some expression of approval to register on your face. Or if I'm not there, you might need to make a similar expression next time you see me in person. In any case, please try to make that expression appear genuine and heartfelt. Add to Cart

067- money inside

There might be money inside this card. But before you open it you're going to have to read the rest of this card and act like you care what it says, when we all know you're only thinking about how much money there might be inside. Add to Cart

070- throw this away

You're probably going to throw this card away.* *or recycle it It might get put out on a shelf in your house for a while. Or it might even make it into a pile of keepsakes in some drawer or closet.But one day, when the mood is right, you'll look through that pile, think of how you felt (or didn't feel) when you first read this card and how much has changed (or hasn't changed) since then, and you'll let out a heavy sigh (or you won't sigh, or think, or anything) and you'll proceed - despite (or because of) all of this - to throw it away.* *or recycle it Add to Cart

071- reasons not to

I can think of a lot of reasons not to love you. But I still do (love you). Add to Cart

072- a big deal

I know you don't like to make a big deal out of things like this. So I just got you this card. Add to Cart

062- want to vomit

This card was the only one among hundreds that didn't make me want to vomit. Kind of like you. Add to Cart

043 – awful in pictures

Yours is a beauty that has to be experienced in person to be truly appreciated, a beauty that radiates in action - moving this way, or that, or just talking, laughing, breathing - a rare beauty that cannot be frozen in any one moment. I guess that's why you look so awful in pictures. Add to Cart

046- trying too hard

I thought of so many things to do for you that you would've loved. But I didn't want it to look like I was trying too hard. Add to Cart

038- a few whole dollars

You mean so much to me... ...that I'm willing to spend a few whole dollars on a greeting card. Add to Cart

035- I’d rather oblige

I only bought this because you seem to appreciate the gesture of giving a greeting card. And I would rather oblige than think of something better. Add to Cart

034- i’ve run out of ways

I never thought this would happen, but... I've run out of ways to say it. Add to Cart

029- if I knew

If I knew exactly what to say... ...then I sure as hell wouldn't be giving you a greeting card. Add to Cart

024- exactly what to say

Sometimes I know exactly what to say. This is not one of those times. Add to Cart

022- things might’ve changed

When I bought this card, I was feeling good about our relationship. But now that you're reading it, things might've changed. Add to Cart

016- I can tell you that

In a lot of ways, I really can't stand you. But I can tell you that. Add to Cart

014- remind me

When love can be measured by greetings cards remind me to kill myself. Add to Cart

009- you’re almost ugly

You're one of those people who's only pretty because you're almost ... ...you come so close to being completely repulsive that the sense of danger in teetering on that brink gives your look an excitement that's somehow attractive, like if a butterfly had flapped its wings somewhere the moment you were born, everything might've been different enough to make manifest your face's latent hideousness. Know what I mean? Add to Cart

004- last person on Earth

If you were the last person on Earth, that would mean I'd be dead, and you'd have a stupid greeting card to remember me by. Add to Cart

003- it bothers me

I love you and it bothers me. And the fact that it bothers me bothers me also. Add to Cart

002- if true love existed

If something like true love existed, would you really expect it to fit into a card? Add to Cart