063- that nagging sense

Do you ever get that nagging sense that we're kidding ourselves to think that we could ever make it together? Me neither. Add to Cart

066- burping and farting

I'm glad you feel comfortable burping and farting in my presence. (Sort of glad.) Add to Cart

069- one of a kind

You sure are one of a kind. I can't say exactly what kind, but you sure are one of it. Add to Cart

071- reasons not to

I can think of a lot of reasons not to love you. But I still do (love you). Add to Cart

062- want to vomit

This card was the only one among hundreds that didn't make me want to vomit. Kind of like you. Add to Cart

038- a few whole dollars

You mean so much to me... ...that I'm willing to spend a few whole dollars on a greeting card. Add to Cart

036- damn you

Damn you for making me say and do so many things I would never have otherwise said or done. Like this. Add to Cart

027- thinking about you

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Well, obviously. (You're probably thinking to yourself.) ...why would I send you this card if I wasn't thinking about you?... ...and what a stupid thing to say in a card... ...and even stupider to affect stupidity, as if that's funny... Well fuck you then. Sorry, this limited edition card is out of print.

024- exactly what to say

Sometimes I know exactly what to say. This is not one of those times. Add to Cart

022- things might’ve changed

When I bought this card, I was feeling good about our relationship. But now that you're reading it, things might've changed. Add to Cart

019- whatever you want

[BLANK FRONT] (INSIDE)You can make this mean whatever you want. Add to Cart

016- I can tell you that

In a lot of ways, I really can't stand you. But I can tell you that. Add to Cart

009- you’re almost ugly

You're one of those people who's only pretty because you're almost ... ...you come so close to being completely repulsive that the sense of danger in teetering on that brink gives your look an excitement that's somehow attractive, like if a butterfly had flapped its wings somewhere the moment you were born, everything might've been different enough to make manifest your face's latent hideousness. Know what I mean? Add to Cart

003- it bothers me

I love you and it bothers me. And the fact that it bothers me bothers me also. Add to Cart