070- throw this away

You're probably going to throw this card away.* *or recycle it It might get put out on a shelf in your house for a while. Or it might even make it into a pile of keepsakes in some drawer or closet.But one day, when the mood is right, you'll look through that pile, think of how you felt (or didn't feel) when you first read this card and how much has changed (or hasn't changed) since then, and you'll let out a heavy sigh (or you won't sigh, or think, or anything) and you'll proceed - despite (or because of) all of this - to throw it away.* *or recycle it Add to Cart

027- thinking about you

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Well, obviously. (You're probably thinking to yourself.) ...why would I send you this card if I wasn't thinking about you?... ...and what a stupid thing to say in a card... ...and even stupider to affect stupidity, as if that's funny... Well fuck you then. Sorry, this limited edition card is out of print.

019- whatever you want

[BLANK FRONT] (INSIDE)You can make this mean whatever you want. Add to Cart

009- you’re almost ugly

You're one of those people who's only pretty because you're almost ... ...you come so close to being completely repulsive that the sense of danger in teetering on that brink gives your look an excitement that's somehow attractive, like if a butterfly had flapped its wings somewhere the moment you were born, everything might've been different enough to make manifest your face's latent hideousness. Know what I mean? Add to Cart

004- last person on Earth

If you were the last person on Earth, that would mean I'd be dead, and you'd have a stupid greeting card to remember me by. Add to Cart

002- if true love existed

If something like true love existed, would you really expect it to fit into a card? Add to Cart