064- pretend to appreciate

Please pretend to appreciate this card. If you opened it in front of me, I'm probably looking at you now while you're reading it, waiting for some expression of approval to register on your face. Or if I'm not there, you might need to make a similar expression next time you see me in person. In any case, please try to make that expression appear genuine and heartfelt. Add to Cart

067- money inside

There might be money inside this card. But before you open it you're going to have to read the rest of this card and act like you care what it says, when we all know you're only thinking about how much money there might be inside. Add to Cart

069- one of a kind

You sure are one of a kind. I can't say exactly what kind, but you sure are one of it. Add to Cart

070- throw this away

You're probably going to throw this card away.* *or recycle it It might get put out on a shelf in your house for a while. Or it might even make it into a pile of keepsakes in some drawer or closet.But one day, when the mood is right, you'll look through that pile, think of how you felt (or didn't feel) when you first read this card and how much has changed (or hasn't changed) since then, and you'll let out a heavy sigh (or you won't sigh, or think, or anything) and you'll proceed - despite (or because of) all of this - to throw it away.* *or recycle it Add to Cart

071- reasons not to

I can think of a lot of reasons not to love you. But I still do (love you). Add to Cart

072- a big deal

I know you don't like to make a big deal out of things like this. So I just got you this card. Add to Cart

038- a few whole dollars

You mean so much to me... ...that I'm willing to spend a few whole dollars on a greeting card. Add to Cart

035- I’d rather oblige

I only bought this because you seem to appreciate the gesture of giving a greeting card. And I would rather oblige than think of something better. Add to Cart

029- if I knew

If I knew exactly what to say... ...then I sure as hell wouldn't be giving you a greeting card. Add to Cart

023- it’s nearly impossible

It's nearly impossible to find a greeting card for you. Take that as a compliment. Add to Cart

019- whatever you want

[BLANK FRONT] (INSIDE)You can make this mean whatever you want. Add to Cart

018- going to die soon

Not to sound like you're going to die soon or anything, but I'm really glad I've had the chance to get to know you. And if you are going to die soon, I'm really sorry. Add to Cart

016- I can tell you that

In a lot of ways, I really can't stand you. But I can tell you that. Add to Cart

014- remind me

When love can be measured by greetings cards remind me to kill myself. Add to Cart

004- last person on Earth

If you were the last person on Earth, that would mean I'd be dead, and you'd have a stupid greeting card to remember me by. Add to Cart