I know you don’t like
to make a big deal
out of things like this.
So I just got you
this card.
$4
If you had something
on your face, like
a piece of food or a booger
or something,
I would tell you.
Eventually.
I might take a moment first
to enjoy how stupid you look
as you’re eating or talking
or whatever it is you’re doing,
totally oblivious
to the thing on your face.
But eventually,
I’d tell you.
$2.50
I thought of so many things
to do for you
that you would’ve loved.
But I didn’t want it to look
like I was trying too hard.
$2.50
Someday
you’ll thank this disaster…
…for making you
whoever you’ve become.
$2.50
Damn you
for making me say and do
so many things
I would never have otherwise
said or done.
Like this.
$2.50
If I knew exactly what to say…
…then I sure as hell
wouldn’t be giving you
a greeting card.
$2.50
Sometimes I know
exactly what to say.
This is not one of those times.
$2.50
It’s nearly impossible
to find a greeting card for you.
Take that as a compliment.
$10
(out of print)
Not to sound like
you’re going to die soon
or anything, but
I’m really glad
I’ve had the chance
to get to know you.
And if you are
going to die soon,
I’m really sorry.
$5 (limited)
If you were the last person on
Earth, that would mean
I’d be dead, and you’d have
a stupid greeting card
to remember me by.
$5 (limited)
