064- pretend to appreciate

Please pretend to appreciate this card. If you opened it in front of me, I'm probably looking at you now while you're reading it, waiting for some expression of approval to register on your face. Or if I'm not there, you might need to make a similar expression next time you see me in person. In any case, please try to make that expression appear genuine and heartfelt. Add to Cart

072- a big deal

I know you don't like to make a big deal out of things like this. So I just got you this card. Add to Cart

039- something on your face

If you had something on your face, like a piece of food or a booger or something, I would tell you. Eventually. I might take a moment first to enjoy how stupid you look as you're eating or talking or whatever it is you're doing, totally oblivious to the thing on your face. But eventually, I'd tell you. Add to Cart

046- trying too hard

I thought of so many things to do for you that you would've loved. But I didn't want it to look like I was trying too hard. Add to Cart

047- thank this disaster

Someday you'll thank this disaster... ...for making you whoever you've become. Add to Cart

029- if I knew

If I knew exactly what to say... ...then I sure as hell wouldn't be giving you a greeting card. Add to Cart

024- exactly what to say

Sometimes I know exactly what to say. This is not one of those times. Add to Cart

023- it’s nearly impossible

It's nearly impossible to find a greeting card for you. Take that as a compliment. Add to Cart

019- whatever you want

[BLANK FRONT] (INSIDE)You can make this mean whatever you want. Add to Cart

018- going to die soon

Not to sound like you're going to die soon or anything, but I'm really glad I've had the chance to get to know you. And if you are going to die soon, I'm really sorry. Add to Cart