069- one of a kind

You sure are one of a kind. I can't say exactly what kind, but you sure are one of it. Add to Cart

070- throw this away

You're probably going to throw this card away.* *or recycle it It might get put out on a shelf in your house for a while. Or it might even make it into a pile of keepsakes in some drawer or closet.But one day, when the mood is right, you'll look through that pile, think of how you felt (or didn't feel) when you first read this card and how much has changed (or hasn't changed) since then, and you'll let out a heavy sigh (or you won't sigh, or think, or anything) and you'll proceed - despite (or because of) all of this - to throw it away.* *or recycle it Add to Cart

071- reasons not to

I can think of a lot of reasons not to love you. But I still do (love you). Add to Cart

062- want to vomit

This card was the only one among hundreds that didn't make me want to vomit. Kind of like you. Add to Cart

046- trying too hard

I thought of so many things to do for you that you would've loved. But I didn't want it to look like I was trying too hard. Add to Cart

047- thank this disaster

Someday you'll thank this disaster... ...for making you whoever you've become. Add to Cart

038- a few whole dollars

You mean so much to me... ...that I'm willing to spend a few whole dollars on a greeting card. Add to Cart

036- damn you

Damn you for making me say and do so many things I would never have otherwise said or done. Like this. Add to Cart

034- i’ve run out of ways

I never thought this would happen, but... I've run out of ways to say it. Add to Cart

029- if I knew

If I knew exactly what to say... ...then I sure as hell wouldn't be giving you a greeting card. Add to Cart

027- thinking about you

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. Well, obviously. (You're probably thinking to yourself.) ...why would I send you this card if I wasn't thinking about you?... ...and what a stupid thing to say in a card... ...and even stupider to affect stupidity, as if that's funny... Well fuck you then. Sorry, this limited edition card is out of print.

024- exactly what to say

Sometimes I know exactly what to say. This is not one of those times. Add to Cart

023- it’s nearly impossible

It's nearly impossible to find a greeting card for you. Take that as a compliment. Add to Cart

022- things might’ve changed

When I bought this card, I was feeling good about our relationship. But now that you're reading it, things might've changed. Add to Cart