I know you don’t like
to make a big deal
out of things like this.
So I just got you
this card.
$4
I’m glad
you feel comfortable
burping and farting
in my presence.
(Sort of glad.)
$4
I just wanted to tell you…
…that I get the feeling that
if I knew you more
I’d like you more
I mean in general
the more I knew you
the more I’d like you
and that’s not something
that happens very often
I think I mean
the knowing and the liking
and the feeling I’ve got.
$5 (limited)
Sometimes, when we’re
walking down the street,
I’ll look at the windows
of the shops as we pass
just to see the reflection
of us walking together.
$4
Do you ever get
that nagging sense
that we’re kidding ourselves
to think that we could
ever make it together?
Me neither.
$4
This card was the only one
among hundreds that didn’t
make me want to vomit.
Kind of like you.
$4
Yours is a beauty
that has to be experienced
in person to be truly
appreciated, a beauty
that radiates in action –
moving this way, or that, or just
talking, laughing, breathing –
a rare beauty that cannot be
frozen in any one moment.
I guess that’s why you look
so awful in pictures.
$2.50
If you had something
on your face, like
a piece of food or a booger
or something,
I would tell you.
Eventually.
I might take a moment first
to enjoy how stupid you look
as you’re eating or talking
or whatever it is you’re doing,
totally oblivious
to the thing on your face.
But eventually,
I’d tell you.
$2.50
I thought of so many things
to do for you
that you would’ve loved.
But I didn’t want it to look
like I was trying too hard.
$2.50
I’m expecting something
to go terribly wrong soon.
Because having you around
is just too perfect.
$2.50
Damn you
for making me say and do
so many things
I would never have otherwise
said or done.
Like this.
$2.50
If I knew exactly what to say…
…then I sure as hell
wouldn’t be giving you
a greeting card.
$2.50
Just wanted to let you know
that I was thinking about you.
Well, obviously.
(You’re probably
thinking to yourself.)
…why would I send you
this card if I wasn’t
thinking about you?…
…and what a stupid thing
to say in a card…
…and even stupider
to affect stupidity,
as if that’s funny…
Well fuck you then.
