I only bought this because
you seem to appreciate
the gesture of giving
a greeting card.
And I would rather oblige
than think of something better.
$2.50
Just wanted to let you know
that I was thinking about you.
Well, obviously.
(You’re probably
thinking to yourself.)
…why would I send you
this card if I wasn’t
thinking about you?…
…and what a stupid thing
to say in a card…
…and even stupider
to affect stupidity,
as if that’s funny…
Well fuck you then.
It’s nearly impossible
to find a greeting card for you.
Take that as a compliment.
$10
(out of print)
I just wanted to tell you…
…that I get the feeling that
if I knew you more
I’d like you more
I mean in general
the more I knew you
the more I’d like you
and that’s not something
that happens very often
I think I mean
the knowing and the liking
and the feeling I’ve got.
$5 (limited)
Not to sound like
you’re going to die soon
or anything, but
I’m really glad
I’ve had the chance
to get to know you.
And if you are
going to die soon,
I’m really sorry.
$5 (limited)
I could never imagine myself
buying cards like this.
Then a funny thing happened.
I met you.
You’re one of those people
who’s only pretty because
you’re almost …
…you come so close to being
completely repulsive
that the sense of danger
in teetering on that brink
gives your look an excitement
that’s somehow attractive,
like if a butterfly had flapped
its wings somewhere
the moment you were born,
everything might’ve been different
enough to make manifest
your face’s latent hideousness.
Know what I mean?
$5 (limited)
If you were the last person on
Earth, that would mean
I’d be dead, and you’d have
a stupid greeting card
to remember me by.
$5 (limited)
